Airway Lords, ham-bones and fire hydrants
Rush, the "Egotistically Inspired Bloviator (EIB)", Limbaugh, Ed "let's get to work" Schultz, Bill "no spin" O'Really, Chris "wet pant leg" Mathews, and your own favorite local wannabe all belong to the Fraternal Order Of Airway Lords, otherwise known as FOOALs.
With nose to ground, they tour the political barnyard daily sticking their noses into the latest hot political dung in search of a political gotcha kernel. These kernels are the mother's milk of their daily shows, used to feed their "I'm all ears" puppy dogs, who dial up to consume their favorite lord's diatribe.
The FOOALs ride in on their supercharged intro music, introduce their latest hot political kernel, and welcome you to their show. Once talking points are adequately spun to their liking, and their egos adequately massaged by puppy dog amens, the FOOALs have the much anticipated "out of body" moment and lose complete control.
It is the predictable call to arms charge the puppies have all been anticipating. The "you and me" who have it right crowd fall in line against the "them and theirs" who are left out in the dark crowd.
It is the "us versus them" moment; you versus your neighbor, the point a finger of blame solution is at hand. Rising to their hind legs, the puppies begin reciting amen's in unison; they know the drill well. With ham-bone firmly clinched, they depart with talking points indelibly etched.
The puppies scamper off to their respective neighborhoods, and begin parroting the just consumed "Tokyo Rose" bravado to their families, their neighbors, their friends, or anyone else who'll listen. They've put us all on notice by raising their leg, and marking the neighborhood fire hydrant.
God forbid, normal people do something ham-boneish, like raise a rational voice, or question one of their airway Gestapo's statements; why that would be un-patriotic, un-called for, and of course under the patriot act. un-American. You could find yourself in front of a military tribunal, and may even be sent off to a wonderful 5-star like Abu Ghraib; habeas corpus be damned!
So the next time you see a group of puppy dogs clinching ham-bones, bearing their teeth, holding up an "I love my FOOAL" sign, and surrounding a local fire hydrant in your neighborhood – Consider calling law enforcement; your fellow Americans have been taken hostage, and are being denied the pleasure of an independent thought process.
As election season rolls around, many people have hope that a political figure will change the direction of our nation. I've come to believe that as important as politics may be, it can't reach our heart issue. We need what historians would call a Great Awakening, a time when God's presence and power are felt in our homes, churches, and community.
Do any of us really believe that one more election will bring about the personal heart change that would free captive addicts, restore broken families, or mobilize sleepy churchgoers? Will one more election help children who are growing up with the pain of divorce, or offer hope to a spouse trapped in an abusive relationship?
Our core problems can't be solved with more funding or more education; they require the kind of spiritual change that happens when people turn to God in prayer, repentance, and humility. That's why, even though I do plan to vote in the election, I believe the more important work to be done is spiritual in nature. Would you join me in praying for spiritual awakening?